Dating Advice for Tsunderes
by Plant Life Alchemist
Summary: Some of the countries were able to find love Others had about as much success as a grumpy Because of this, Marie and Miss Hungary set up a dating advice agency to get their favorite yaoi couples together (with some of the couples already together coming in from time to Only chaos could come out of But hey, who said matchmaking would be easy?
1. Intro Chapter

**Not trying to advertise, but if you want to see the back story of my OC Marie and how she got involved with the countries, I would suggest you read a fanfiction I wrote a little while ago called "The New Girl." However, you don't need to read The New Girl to understand this fic. It's basically a series of one-shots about Marie and Miss Hungary helping some certain pairings get together. This is the introductory chapter. So now that explanations are out of the way, enjoy!**

* * *

Elizabeta and I had just finished getting our little office together, and were discussing who to write yaoi about while we were waiting for our first customer. Arthur, who helped us set everything up, was worrying his pretty little head off about Francis, who was supposed to help us set up, but never showed.

"Where the bloody hell is that git? He should've shown up a while ago!"

"Didn't he say he would catch up with us later?" I asked, then commented to Elizabeta, "I think we should make Ivan and Toris our targets today."

Elizabeta pondered that, "Russia and Lithuania? Eh, they're alright together, but I don't see it happening."

"Would you two please stop discussing stupid yaoi? My bloody boyfriend is missing and you don't even care!" Arthur shouted at us.

We both melted, "Aw, you do care! Maybe you're not quite as tsundere as I thought!" I gushed, "And you can't say yaoi is stupid, you and Francis are a yaoi couple."

"I don't care, I still think you obsessing over yaoi is stupid. And I don't appreciate the name for your little dating agency," Arthur looked over at the pamphlets at the desk titled _Dating Advice for Tsunderes_. Just as I was about to open my mouth to reply, Francis came in with a black and white bundle of fur in his arms.

"_Bonjour, mes amis. _Sorry for being late, I just had a little business to take care of," the bundle wriggled a little bit, and raised its head. I almost fell apart to see that the little black and white pile of fur was actually a tuxedo cat!

"I found her near the lake I walked past to get here. She just ran up to me, purring. _Angleterre_, can we keep her?" Elizabeta nudged me, and I started taking notes on what was happening.

"No. We're not keeping the cat," Arthur crossed his arms, determined not to let Francis get his way.

"But _Angleterre_, I already gave her a name! And feel her, she's starving! _S'il vous plaît_, can we keep little May? Look at her eyes, they're a beautiful green, like yours." I definitely wrote that last part down.

I knew Arthur was going to cave in 3... 2... 1... "Fine. We can keep May, but _you_ have to take care of her."

Francis threw his arms around Arthur, "_Merci_, Arthur!"

Arthur grumbled, pretending not to enjoy it, "Yeah, yeah, whatever. It's just a cat."

Francis leaned in close to Arthur and whispered, "Don't worry, I'll be sure to show my appreciation later, ohohon," and nipped Arthur's earlobe. I was furiously writing down the events in a messy scrawl.

Arthur pushed Francis away, "Cut it out, frog, we might be their next targets." He motioned toward Elizabeta and me. Francis chuckled, winked at me, and swept Arthur off his feet, kissing him avidly. Now as I was writing, Elizabeta's camera was flashing a hundred times a second. It was at this awkward moment when our first client, Antonio, strolled in through the door.

He completely ignored the Arthur-Francis make-out session and spoke to us, "I have a few questions about what I'm doing wrong. Will you help me?"

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**I bet now you can guess which pairing will be first to get crossed off the list next chapter! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the introductory chapter, the cat thing was a little piece of randomness I just came up with. I figured that Greece would just keep it, and I didn't think Flying Mint Bunny would mind having a cat around. Anyways, gonna keep this author's note short, so see you next chapter!**


	2. Spamano

**After almost a week not updating due to writer's block, I will finally put up the first couple! Spamano for the win! I kinda felt obligated to do this one first, because I had already done my OTP in _The New Girl_ (GerIta) and Spamano is my sister's OTP, so... yeah. Anyways, sorry so late, and please tell me how I'm doing with these!**

* * *

"What you're doing wrong?" I asked, "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, I think you know already that I am in love with my little Romano," when Elizabeta and I both nodded, Antonio continued, "My problem is that no matter how much I try to tell him, Lovi just keeps pushing me away. I don't understand, it's as if he doesn't believe me."

Elizabeta and I exchange glances, then she began talking, "I don't know Romano as well as I know Italy, but I don't think it's anything you're doing. We have no way of knowing his reasoning yet, but Marie and I will definitely look into it."

"Really? _Gracias, chicas_. This means a lot to me," Antonio looked over at Francis, who was murmuring sweet nothings into Arthur's ear, "And I never got to congratulate you, _amigo_. I'm happy you found your love."

"_Merci, Espagne._ I have no doubt in my mind that you will find yours as well," And Francis and Arthur left, I assumed to get the things necessary for their new cat.

"Now, we need to come up with a plan of action," I started, "I think whenever we do talk to Lovino, it should be somewhere private. He probably won't want to talk about anything involving you or love in public."

"_Sí,_" Antonio agreed, "He is very guarded."

"That's settled, then. I think I know what to do..."

* * *

As I waited for Lovino to come over, I went over the plan in my head. First, I would invite him over to my house. I've done that already, and he was on his way. Second, Antonio would hide in the dumbwaiter leading to the attic that was for some reason in my living room. Hungary would be with me to talk to Romano. We would ask him questions and hopefully uncover whatever it is that was making him feel insecure about a relationship with Antonio. If we did end up figuring this out, I would say the code words giving Antonio permission to exit the dumbwaiter. As I finished going over the last part, the doorbell rang. I went over to answer it, and Lovino was there. I did what I always do with Italy. I led him to the kitchen.

"I just bought some ice cream, would you like some?" I offered as I got it out, as well as a couple bowls and spoons.

"Sure, I guess. What flavor did you get?"

"Chocolate. Everyone likes chocolate, right? Come on, I wanted to talk to you in the living room." I handed him his bowl of ice cream and led him into the living room, where Elizabeta was waiting on the couch. I patted the spot next me, encouraging Romano to sit. Romano rolled his eyes at me, but sat anyway.

"There is no not awkward way to start this conversation, so I'm just going to start talking," I stated, "Why don't you admit your feelings for Antonio?"

Romano froze, then shoved a big spoonful of ice cream in his mouth. I smirked at him as a silent way to tell him to stop avoiding the question.

Whenever he had swallowed all the ice cream, he grumbled, "I haven't ever told anyone why. No one would understand, especially not the tomato bastard."

"Why is that?" Elizabeta asked.

Romano huffed, but began explaining, "Veneziano inherited everything from Grandpa Rome. He got the looks, the artistic talent, the fortune. The fortune was the only thing I got, and that's the only reason most of the countries have ever wanted to be friends with me. If I found out Spain only loves me for that, and I give in to him..." he looked away, "I don't even know why I'm telling you this."

I smiled, knowing we had enough info and Toni was dying to come out, so I said the code words, "Tomato churro."

Romano gave me the WTF face as Antonio lifted the door of the dumbwaiter and glomped Romano, "Lovi, I had no idea that was why!"

Lovino was surprised, "H-How long has he been here?!"

"The entire conversation," Elizabeta answered.

Lovi tried to struggle out of Antonio's grip, but stopped when he utterly failed, "So are you mad at me, Boss?"

Antonio was stunned at this question, "Why would I be mad at you? You should've told me this sooner!" He let Romano go, "Lovi, it was never just for the inheritance. I like you because you are cute, and you have a very lively personality. You're my adorable little tomato."

Romano was fidgeting a little as he stood, then finally spoke, "_G-Grazie, Spagna_," After a little more silence, he added, "_Ti amo_."

Spain grinned, happy to be finally hearing this, and responded with, "_Te amo, también._" They both left my house, Antonio nodding to Elizabeta and I in passing as a thank you.

Elizabeta turned to me, "Now that our work is done for today, what do you want to do?"

I looked at my empty bowl, and got an idea, "I am going to go get us some more ice cream," And I left for the kitchen, sealing our fate of watching romantic movies and eating ice cream for the rest of the night.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**First pairing is done! (finally) I hope I did a good job, and you guys liked it. There will be many more pairings after this one, and I decided not to give a hint for the next one (mostly because I haven't decided the next one I'm going to do yet.) But there will be another one as soon as I come up with a story for the next pairing. I'm going to keep this author's note short and sweet, so I'll just say bye! See you next couple!**


	3. RoChu

Elizabeta and I were placing bets on who was going to come in next. We figured someone was bound to come in, since our first client, Antonio, was more than happy with the results of hiring us, and I was sure he was going to tell people. I was betting it would be one of the Nordics. Elizabeta was betting it would be Alfred, with our lunch.

I knew I had lost the bet when the shout of "The Hero has returned!" echoed through the door leading up to the door to our office. I handed Elizabeta a twenty, which she took with a smug smile on her face. I rolled my eyes and got up to hug Alfred. I got a little bit more than I bargained for whenever he pulled me in for a kiss.

Whenever we separated again, Alfred held up a McDonald's bag, "I brought lunch for the two beautiful matchmakers," He plopped himself down on the old couch I bought for the office, "So how's my capital doing on this fine day?"

I sat down next to Alfred as he wrapped his arms around me, "Pretty good, although I just lost a bet." I glared playfully at Elizabeta, who shrugged at me as she was getting out her lunch. I eventually got out my lunch as well, and we all talked and ate for a while. I had just thrown everything away as Ivan walked into the office.

"Hi, Ivan," I greeted him, "What can we do for you?"

Ivan sat down in a chair, "I need you to help me with a certain someone. That's what you do here, da?" he shifted in his seat, and I could tell he didn't want to admit who it was with Alfred around.

"Alfred, could you please give Elizabeta and me some time alone with Ivan? Client confidentiality and all." Alfred nodded and left, kissing me on the cheek beforehand.

I sat in my chair at our desk, and folded my hands together on the desk, "What's going on?"

"Well, if I wanted to back out and lie to you, I would tell you to find Belarus a match so she would stop begging me to marry her."

Hungary raised an eyebrow at him, "Okay, if that's a lie, then what's the truth?"

Ivan sighed, "I think I may like China, but I'm not sure I know how to tell him, da? The way he comes across, he hates me. But I have been able to get to know him without him knowing."

Now I was curious, "How have you been able to do that?"

"You have seen the giant panda that accompanies China sometimes, da?" when I nodded, he continued, "That's me. I'm Panda."

"China is so clueless..." Elizabeta muttered.

I facepalmed, "So let me get this straight. You have gotten to know your little crush by following him around in a panda suit? Stalker much?"

Ivan was oblivious to my irritation, "You'll help me, da?"

"I suppose," I started talking to Elizabeta, "Let's go shopping!"

* * *

Elizabeta and I decided to take Yao to the mall, and I was hoping that if I bought him enough cute things, he would be more than willing to talk. We spent a long time shopping and talking, but every time I tried to bring up Ivan, he would pretend I didn't speak. I was starting to doubt whether or not we would be able to help Ivan at all. When we were finally done shopping, we started walking back home, only to get stopped by a gang of five guys.

"Hey cuties," I rolled my eyes when he called us that, "What are three beautiful ladies doing walking around alone?"

Yao was furious, "I am not a girl, aru! I'm a boy! You are an idiot, aru!"

One of the other guys stumbled forward, and I could smell the alcohol on his breath from where I was standing, "Are you sure about that, hun? Because you look kinda girly to me." He tried to grab Yao's nonexistent breasts, but Yao pulled away and slapped him. That turned out to be a big mistake, as it turns out the guy was the ringleader.

He pinned Yao to a wall, "Boys, I think we need to teach these girls a little bit of respect." Elizabeta and I panicked and tried to help Yao, but two of the drunken morons kept us back as the other two not doing anything took baseball bats out of who knows where and started hitting Yao with them. I started struggling against the one holding me so I could help Yao, but stopped when I heard a faint _Kolkolkolkolkol..._

"Elizabeta, stop," I whispered to her, "Listen." She tilted her head and smiled. We could both tell that the large, scary nation was near. We weren't wrong. Russia came out of the darkness, silent as a shadow, and immediately struck the ringleader with the pipe, knocking him unconscious. Yao fell to the ground, no longer being restrained. The two guys that were hitting him ran away. Smart boys.

Alfred, who just so happened to be walking past them, looked up at what they were running away from, "I'll be a total Hero and save you, Marie!" and hit the guy holding me in the jaw. I was about to save Elizabeta, but it turned out she didn't need saving. She somehow managed to kick the one holding her where the sun don't shine, and he was writhing on the ground.

The ringleader that Ivan had knocked out earlier stirred, and cringed when he saw Ivan, "P-Please have mercy!"

Ivan turned to him, the dark aura still around him, "Like you had mercy on my Yao?" he raised his pipe, "I'll see you in hell, da?" And was just about to deliver a killing blow when Yao grabbed the pipe from behind.

"Stop it, Ivan! He's not worth it, aru." Yao let go of the pipe, clutching his side.

Ivan calmed down, "Are you okay?"

"是 (Yes.) I think they cracked a couple of ribs, but I heal fast, aru," his gaze was fixed on the ground, "And I guess I should thank you for saving me, aru."

Ivan smiled, "It's okay. You can thank me by staying at my house tonight, da?"

Yao flinched away from him, shocked, "W-Why would you want me to do that, aru?"

"It would make me feel better to know you're safe, da? Besides, you would heal faster if someone was there to take care of you," Ivan embraced the smaller nation, and I could've swore I saw them both blush.

"Fine, aru. I'll go with you, but only because I owe you, aru," he didn't sound happy, but I knew he was smiling.

Ivan picked up Yao, careful to not put any harmful pressure on his sides, "You shouldn't have to walk while you're injured, da?" He turned around and mouthed a slient _Thank you_ before leaving for his place, Yao curled up in his arms.

Alfred draped his arm over my shoulders, "While we're still on the subject, do you want to come over to my place for a little bit? It'll be fun, we can watch scary movies and I can introduce you to Tony."

I giggled, "Sure, that sounds nice. I haven't ever actually seen a horror movie before."

He stared at me in mock shock, "What? Dude, you're missing out!"

Before we left, I checked on Elizabeta, "Are you going to be okay?"

She nodded, "Of course. You go and have fun." I felt a little guilty at watching her go home alone. Eventually, I had to make her a match. I made that mental note as Alfred led me to his house.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Finally wrote the RoChu chapter! Yay! *hugs self* Sorry for the very infrequent updates, I lacked the inspiration to write romance for a while, but then I got right back up, and finished it! I hope you guys like this one, I spent a while coming up with this idea. Next couple should be coming soon, so if you want to share your opinion on how I'm doing, reviews are appreciated! See y'all next couple!  
**


	4. AusSwitz

Elizabeta and I sat in our office, and since no one was visiting and we had no customers, we decided to write a little bit of yaoi. Our targets today were Switzerland and Austria.

_The Austrian aristocrat Roderich Edelstein stared curiously at his new servant. Out of pity, Roderich had saved this particular servant, a Swiss named Vash Zwingli, from the noose, allowing him to work for him. At first, whenever Roderich had brought him home, Vash wouldn't say a single word to him, he just carried out Roderich's orders like a machine. Slowly, though, he became friendlier, and he and Roderich had some pretty amazing conversations. For a former criminal, Vash was very well-rounded when it came to his education and skills. _

_Now, Roderich didn't know what he was feeling for Vash, but he knew it had to stop. It was improper of him to feel anything for someone of a lower class, especially a man. Besides, Roderich was betrothed to the Hungarian princess Elizabeta Herdervary. They were to be married the next month. Even so, he found many things he liked about Vash, like his beautiful green eyes, the way his blonde hair fell in his face whenever he was gardening, the way he talked about his little sister back home..._

_Roderich shook his head violently. He needed to stop thinking like this. He wished that he could think these things about Elizabeta. Then everything would be easier. Sadly, though, he didn't feel that way towards her, or any woman for that matter. He supposed he could always bribe their families into calling off the wedding, but they would most likely ask him why. He couldn't tell them the reason. They would disown him.  
_

_He only realized how solemn he looked when Vash asked him, concerned, "Master Edelstein, are you alright? You seem a little tense."_

_That snapped Roderich out of his thoughts, "I'm fine. I just have a lot on my mind."_

_Vash wondered how he could help his employer, then had an idea, "How about I calm you down with a massage? I used to do it for Lili all the time, and she was always more relaxed afterwards."_

_Roderich considered turning him down, but then thought better of it, "I suppose that might help. Is there anywhere in particular you want to do this?"_

_Vash thought for a moment, then responded, "I want you to be comfortable, so your bedroom would be a good place."_

_Roderich nodded, "Very well. Meet me there in five minutes." Vash bowed and left, most likely to get prepared. Roderich climbed up the stairs leading to his bedroom and sat on the bed. He felt like such an idiot. With all these things he felt about Vash, it might not have been the best idea to tell him to come to the bedroom. It was too late, though, for Vash knocked on the door. Roderich got up and opened it.  
_

_"Are you ready, Master Edelstein?" When Roderich nodded, Vash continued, "That's good. Now..." he shifted his weight nervously, "I mean no disrespect, sir, but I have to ask you to, umm... Take off your shirt."_

_Roderich wasn't surprised, and removed his shirt, exposing his bare chest. He looked back at Vash, and saw that Vash had looked away, and was blushing. This he was surprised at. He didn't think Vash felt that way. Roderich moved closer to Vash and lifted his chin up, so that their eyes met.  
_

_"Is something wrong?" Roderich asked him._

_Vash nodded his head, "Yes, there is. I'm feeling something that I shouldn't be. After all, you're a noble, and I'm a servant, and we're both men, and-" Roderich cut him off by pressing his lips to Vash's, meeting him in a passionate kiss. Desire filled both of them, but Vash broke the kiss, knowing that it could never happen. He went and sat on Roderich's bed, on the other side of the room.  
_

_"I-I apologize, M-Master Edelstein." He stuttered, and braced himself for some sort of punishment.  
_

_Roderich walked over to Vash, and whispered, "The only thing you need to apologize for is pulling away." He gently pushed Vash down to where he was laying on the bed. Roderich began kissing him again, and had a sudden need to take off more than just his shirt._

"Woah, woah, woah," I stopped Elizabeta from writing anymore, "This is... well..."

"What is it?" Elizabeta asked.

I pointed some things out to her, "Well, first off, I think Vash is _way_ out of character. He's not nearly as shy or helpless as we're making him out to be. Also, I don't believe that Vash would be the uke. He's totally seme material."

Elizabeta knew I was new at this whole yaoi-writing thing, so she was gentle with me, "Huh. I never thought of Switzerland as the seme. Then again, I _was_ married to Austria for a long time. And it's okay to make him a little OOC for something like this."

I was about to reply when there was a knock at our door. "We're open!" I called. The door opened and Austria himself stepped into the room.

"This is your dating advice agency, correct?" he came up to our desk and sat down, "I need your help so I can get someone back." He talked a little more, but I tuned the rest out and glanced over at Elizabeta. I could tell she was uncomfortable, and she had a good reason. If Roderich is here to get someone back, that someone is most likely her. She already told me she feels strongly for him as a sister, nothing more. I snapped back to reality when Austria's voice changed to an agitated tone.

"Are you even listening? I just told you I need your help with Switzerland!" I facepalmed at the obviousness. I was also told Roderich and Vash were childhood friends. He could've meant Vash as well.

Elizabeta was overly excited and jumped up, "Thanks goodness!" Which sent the yaoi paper flying.

Roderich caught it and began reading it, "What's this?"

I took it from him, "None of your business. We'll take the job. Elizabeta, call Lili, please."

Elizabeta dialed Lili and put it on speaker, "Hello?" A small voice answered.

"Hey Lili," I responded, "You know that lake that you told me about? The one you and Vash spend time at that you wanted to take us to sometime?"

"Yes."

"Could we possibly go this afternoon?"

Lili responded immediately, "Yes, that would be so fun! I will have to ask my brother, but I'm sure he'll say yes!"

Austria cleared his throat and asked, "Could I possibly come, too?"

"Oh, hello, Mr. Austria. Of course you can come, if my brother says yes."

We heard the muffled voice of her asking Switzerland, and then he responded, "I suppose they can come, so long as they don't cause any trouble. Even Austria, although I won't enjoy his company."

"Thank you so much Switzerland," her attention was turned back to us, "See you this afternoon!"

I smiled, "You too. Bye, Lili." I hung up, "So, this should be very interesting. Roderich, go get ready and meet us back here. And Elizabeta, where are you going?"

She lifted her cell phone to her cheek, "I have to make a call before we go."

I shrugged, "Okay." I was a little bit scared, but whatever.

* * *

Vash and Lili were sitting on a picnic together, staring at the lake, and Elizabeta, Roderich and I were all sitting on a bench behind of them, Elizabeta sitting in between Rodeich and I so she could talk to us both. There wasn't much talking; every time Elizabeta, Lili or I tried to start a conversation, it would lapse back into awkwardness because of both the Austrian and Swiss nations' antisocial tendencies. Eventually, though, I got tired of it.

I leaned over Elizabeta so I could talk to Roderich, "I know you hired us and all, but we can't do everything for you," Then something caught my eye that I thought might help, "Hey Lili, what is that over there?"

Lili looked where I was pointing, "Oh, that? That's a balcony we have overlooking the lake. I go up there sometimes, the view is very beautiful."

I figured the beautiful view might help, so I asked "Really? Could we see it?"

She turned to me and nodded, "Sure, if Switzerland's okay with it." When Vash nodded, we all went up to the balcony. I went to the edge and looked out. Lili was right. The view was gorgeous, and very romantic. I took the opportunity to nudge Roderich toward Vash, until they were almost touching. Neither of them seemed to notice, but I thought Vash's face looked just a bit more flushed than before. Suddenly, though, we heard a very strange laugh accompanied by... tweeting?

"Kesese~ Hallo, everyone. The awesome Prussia decided to grace this little get together with his awesome presence! You can thank me later."

Elizabeta raised her frying pan menacingly, "What are you doing here, Prussia?"

I quirked an eyebrow at her, "You seriously brought your frying pan?"

"Yeah, the last time I left it at home was when China almost got killed. _Never again_."

Gilbert snickered, "I heard from sources that there was a little party going on, and since I wasn't invited, I decided to awesomely crash it. And I also heard, from the same source, some idle gossip about the stupid aristocrat Austria," he dramatically pointed a finger at Roderich, "He's apparently not after Hungary anymore, and has got a new crush, this time on Switzerland."

My jaw dropped, and I looked toward Vash and Roderich. Vash was pretending not to listen to the conversation, but looked so furious it was scary, and Roderich looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him up right then and there.

He crossed his arms and stared at Gilbert, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh come on, ever since you had that little falling out, you've always wanted to patch things up. It's kind of cute actually, though not as cute as Gilbird," he said in a mocking tone, and petted the little bird sitting atop his head.

"Alright, I've had just about enough of you," Roderich's embarrassment turned to fury, and we all gasped as his fist connected with Gilbert's face. Gilbert recoiled, rubbing his sore cheek.

"Kesese, you punch like a girl-"

"Excuse me?" Elizabeta interrupted.

Gilbert ignored her, "But the awesome Prussia just can't let you get away with abusing his awesome face, now can I?" Gilbert prepared to send Roderich over the edge of the balcony, but Vash pushed Roderich out of the way last minute, leaving himself to go over the edge instead. He landed with a _splash_ in the water.

"Switzerland!" Lili cried.

"Well, it appears my awesome work here is done," Gilbert strolled away, leaving us to go save Vash, who was having some trouble getting to the shore.

"Someone has to help him!" Lili begged.

I saw this as the perfect opportunity to let Roderich save Vash, "I don't swim."

Roderich looked at Elizabeta, who commented, "I only dog-paddle."* I grinned. Elizabeta and I had recently watched a cool movie, and she was giving an excuse of why she can't go while simultaneously making a movie reference.

Roderich gave her an angry look that purely said, _Liar, you can swim_, but he dived in anyways. Elizabeta, Lili and I all ran back to the beach by the lake to wait for them. Roderich walked onto shore a few minutes later, carrying Vash on his back.

Vash lifted his head, "Huh. For once you are actually the one saving me instead of the other way around."

Roderich smiled softly, "My thoughts exactly."

As Lili ran up to embrace her brother, my attention flickered from this cute scene to Elizabeta, who had a smug smile on her face. I knew she was waiting for me to say it.

I huffed, "Maybe Vash isn't as out of character as I thought."

She raised an eyebrow, "And?"

"And maybe Roderich makes a decent seme."

"And?"

I held out my hand, "Hand me the yaoi. Let's finish it."

* * *

***Virtual cookies to the first person who gets the movie reference right!**

**Author's Note:**

**Finally, I write a long one with a decent plot! And did you guys enjoy the yaoi at the beginning? I hope you did. :) Maybe if you guys wanted, I could maybe start a different story from it, but _I don't write smut_, so there would be no overly-explicit content in it. Now that t I think about it, writing this sounds kinda fun. Maybe it could be a rainy day project or something like that. I don't know.  
**

**This chapter was a more challenging one for me because I was working with characters that I don't normally use, so I'm not quite used to writing them. Because of this, I worked on the chapter over a course of several days to make sure I had it all the way I wanted. And thanks to ArcherAzzure for giving me ideas for most of the Hungary banter in this one. You're more awesome than Prussia!  
**

**I should probably go hide now before Prussia finds out I said that, so see you next chapter!**


	5. We don't do incest!

Elizabeta and I were in the office (as usual) going over our progress as matchmakers. So far we had gotten Spain and Romano, Russia and China, and Austria and Switzerland together. The last one was particularly fun, although I still question how Gilbert had found out where we were, and how he found out about Roderich wanting to patch things up with Vash. I questioned Elizabeta about it repeatedly, but she hasn't admitted to anything yet.

Although we were proud of our progress, I still wanted to know how the relationships were working out. I felt it was my duty, considering I helped get them together. Italy told me that Spain and Romano were doing fine, it was the last two couples I was worried about.

"Elizabeta, have you heard anything about Ivan and Yao, or Roderich and Vash?" I asked her.

"Liechtenstein told me Austria and Switzerland are doing well, but I don't have any inside sources for Russia and China. This bugs me, I want to know just as much as you do." we both flinched as a figure dropped down from who knows where. That figure turned out to be Kiku.

"You don't know how their relationship is doing?" we shook our heads, "Well, I have some good pictures if you want to see them." Kiku held the pictures out to us, and we grabbed them. My eyes bugged out at the last one, and I dropped it, retching.

"That was a little bit more than we needed to know," I choked out.

Elizabeta was still practically devouring the pictures, unfazed, "Wow, Japan, how did you get all of these without getting caught?"

"I practiced many a time. Also, Russia-san keeps an extra key under the mat in case one of the Baltics locks themselves out," Kiku thought for a moment, then told us, "I also filmed it if you want the disk."

Elizabeta nodded enthusiastically, "Sure, it would be nice to know what they talked about."

Kiku handed Elizabeta the disk, "That's from when Russia-san and China-san came home to when they went to bed. The last part is on a separate disk, which I will not give to you."

Elizabeta was disappointed, but she still took the disk, "I understand. Thank you, Japan."

Kiku bowed, "The pleasure was all mine." He disappeared back to wherever he came from.

I facepalmed, "How come you never told me Kiku was a yaoi fan?"

Elizabeta shrugged, "I thought you knew."

"Yeah, well, he doesn't exactly make it obvious," I took the disk from her and put it into our computer, "We have it, we may as well watch it." Kiku wasn't lying, the video literally started from whenever Ivan and Yao walked through the door. We watched through all of it, mesmerized, and had gotten to where Ivan and Yao were eating dinner when there was a knock at the door, followed by scratching. Elizabeta and I exchanged glances, and shut off the video. We were right to, because it was Natalia who came through the door.

"Hey, Natalia. What can we do for you?" I asked politely.

"I need your help with someone. You see, I want to become one with my brother Russia, but he doesn't want to become one with me. I want help to get him to realize what would be best for both of us." There was this dark aura around Natalia, and I could tell she wasn't herself. It was scary. I figured then wasn't the best time to tell her that Russia was together with China.

I hid behind Elizabeta, and told her, "You take this one."

Elizabeta took Natalia off to the side and calmed her down, "Belarus, you read the pamphlet, correct? There was a disclaimer in it that said that we don't take incest cases. I'm sorry. But I honestly think you could do a lot better. There are others out there."

Natalia had visibly calmed down, even the dark aura was gone, "I understand. I'm sorry for troubling you."

I got out of my hiding spot and shook her hand, "It was no trouble. You know what, how about we all go out to dinner later and just have some girl time with the three of us?"

Natalia nodded, "That sounds nice. I will see you tonight, then, da?"

"Of course," I hugged Natalia, who tensed up at first, but then relaxed. She bowed slightly to me and left.

"You do realize she's just going to go back to obsessing over Ivan tomorrow, right?" I asked Elizabeta.

Elizabeta nodded, "I know. But she needs some friends in this world who will steer her in the right direction. We can try and be those friends."

"Hmm. I guess." We turned on the video to watch the rest of it before getting ready for dinner with an obsessive little country that, maybe, could be helped.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**I decided to do something a little bit different, since there were only chapters about couples so far. Then it came to me. What if I did a chapter where they refused to take a case? Thus, this random chapter was born. And I figured, why not have them look back on previous cases while I'm at it, and give Japan a little cameo? Thus the beginning of this random chapter was born.  
**

**Sorry for the painfully sporadic updates, I'm writing these as I think of them, and I'm posting them as I write them. Sometimes it takes me awhile to think of them. Don't hate me... :(**

**Anyways... I hope y'all still like this. Please review and tell me what you think, and possibly offer constructive criticism. It keeps me going!**

**Hasta la pasta! (I've always wanted to say that :D)**


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